How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress🧚🏻‍♀️
How to Cheat: Field Notes from an Adulteress🧚🏻‍♀️
EP 2417 - Funny Ashley Madison Messages that Flop
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Why Your Opening Messages on Ashley Madison Fail

Summary: In this episode of The Teresa Pod, host Teresa Conway dives into why certain types of opening messages on Ashley Madison don’t get replies. Teresa shares real messages she’s received, from sexualized ones to cliche openers, and explains why they fall flat. She also highlights the importance of following through with creative approaches, using a haiku promise that was never delivered as a prime example of a missed opportunity.

Key Highlights:

  • Sexualized messages and why they are an immediate fail.

    • Example: "What are your fantasies? My fantasy is tying you to the bed..."

    • Teresa’s response: "My fantasy is not being tied to the bed."

  • Why cliche or shallow messages won’t get replies.

    • Example: "I got lots of money to take care of you."

    • Teresa’s response: "Nope."

  • When creative messages work but fail due to lack of follow-through.

    • Example: "Something simple…a haiku?"

    • Teresa’s response: "And there, you had me all excited. No haiku, no sex."

Key Takeaways:

  • Be thoughtful and avoid sexualizing the first interaction.

  • Don’t rely on shallow claims like wealth or looks to impress.

  • Follow through on unique or creative approaches; otherwise, it’s a missed opportunity.

Quotable Moment: "You're writing checks with your mouth that your ass can't cash."

Call to Action: Subscribe to The Teresa Pod for more insights on navigating dating apps, and stay tuned for Teresa’s upcoming blog post for additional examples and tips!


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